Half-hearted, half-way

If you’ve ever embarked on a DIY project, you know that the messiest point in the process is when you’re half-way; the old is in shambles and still very visible, and the new is such a contrast that it looks like nothing is quite right. At this point, it’s easy to question whether you should have started in the first place and to wonder if it would be best to give up before things get even worse. It’s disheartening.

When Nate and I have been in the middle of home renovations, at least one of us faces a crisis of doubt, asking, “will this really work?!”. And we expect the other one to muster up some words of encouragement to double down and keep going, even if we only half-believe in ourselves. A simple raised eyebrow at the fragile midpoint could be the straw that topples confidence and halts improvements altogether.

In Nehemiah 3, God’s people have risen to the task of rebuilding Jerusalem’s walls, and in chapter 4, their dedication raises the wall to half its height (4:6). The word half is repeated 4 times in chapter 4, describing the messy middle.

Not only do the people face their own internal questions about progress on the wall (4:10), they hear external threats, mockery, and slander about it (4:2,3,8,11,12). Because of this, Nehemiah is forced to divide his man-power in half, grouping them into construction teams and protection teams (4:16,21). Even those on the construction team are half-soldiers, one hand laboring at the task and the other hand holding a weapon (4:17). Midpoint calls for multiplication, not multitasking, but circumstances won’t allow that kind of focus, and, under such conditions, it’s no wonder that they became half-hearted half-way through.

I don’t know what project God has called you to for the sake of his people, but don’t be surprised if you arrive at the half-way point, only to doubt the whole idea because you’re divided in all directions. The Enemy will hurl the same five insults at us that he threw in the face of Israel all those years ago (4:2):

Who are YOU to do this? You’re ill-equipped.

You think God can help you? You’re all alone.

Is your goal really achievable? You’re dreaming.

How long will this take? You’ll never finish.

Don’t you see how bad things are? You don’t have the resources.

Even if all that you have is halved, “the Lord is great and awesome” (4:14). He frustrates the Enemy’s plans and fights for His own (4:15,20), doubling down when we’re forced to divide.