Half-hearted, half-way
If you’ve ever embarked on a DIY project, you know that the messiest point in the process is when you’re half-way; the old is in shambles and still very visible, and the new is such a contrast that it looks like nothing is quite right. At this point, it’s easy to question whether you should have started in the first place and to wonder if it would be best to give up before things get even worse. It’s disheartening.
When Nate and I have been in the middle of home renovations, at least one of us faces a crisis of doubt, asking, “will this really work?!”. And we expect the other one to muster up some words of encouragement to double down and keep going, even if we only half-believe in ourselves. A simple raised eyebrow at the fragile midpoint could be the straw that topples confidence and halts improvements altogether.
In Nehemiah 3, God’s people have risen to the task of rebuilding Jerusalem’s walls, and in chapter 4, their dedication raises the wall to half its height (4:6). The word half is repeated 4 times in chapter 4, describing the messy middle.
Not only do the people face their own internal questions about progress on the wall (4:10), they hear external threats, mockery, and slander about it (4:2,3,8,11,12). Because of this, Nehemiah is forced to divide his man-power in half, grouping them into construction teams and protection teams (4:16,21). Even those on the construction team are half-soldiers, one hand laboring at the task and the other hand holding a weapon (4:17). Midpoint calls for multiplication, not multitasking, but circumstances won’t allow that kind of focus, and, under such conditions, it’s no wonder that they became half-hearted half-way through.
I don’t know what project God has called you to for the sake of his people, but don’t be surprised if you arrive at the half-way point, only to doubt the whole idea because you’re divided in all directions. The Enemy will hurl the same five insults at us that he threw in the face of Israel all those years ago (4:2):
Who are YOU to do this? You’re ill-equipped.
You think God can help you? You’re all alone.
Is your goal really achievable? You’re dreaming.
How long will this take? You’ll never finish.
Don’t you see how bad things are? You don’t have the resources.
Even if all that you have is halved, “the Lord is great and awesome” (4:14). He frustrates the Enemy’s plans and fights for His own (4:15,20), doubling down when we’re forced to divide.
The Weight of Waiting
This summer, the boys and I often dropped in at our local YMCA. On the way to my trusty treadmill, I’d pass the weight-lifters and try not to stare at the contorted faces under the strain of their routine (AKA torture). Their effort was audible most of the time, so I’d quickly put my earbuds in place to drown out the sound of their exhaustion.
In reality, a little pain, sweat, and tears are to be expected at the Y. We anticipate spending energy and bearing some discomfort for the health benefits that we’ll gain in return. We know that time + resistance = strength.
What I so easily forget is that time + resistance in life builds strength too - and that resistance usually comes in the form of waiting.
Waiting is a workout for our faith, but I don’t usually wait like I’ve just entered faith’s YMCA, and I don’t willingly sign up for that membership. There’s no sign overhead alerting me to the fact that I’ve just stepped foot into a gymnasium full of opportunities and equipment that will strengthen my faith over time.
If I don’t wait like it’s a workout,
fatigue will come as a surprise.
I’ll chide myself, lose motivation, and I’ll quit.
Time gradually increases the weight and adds in more reps that won’t crush my faith; instead, time chisels it. While waiting, faith pushes back to become shapely and strong, capable of so much more than its previous limits.
If you’re waiting on God, he’s attentive and knowledgeable and deeply committed to increasing your faith’s stamina, like a personal trainer at the Y.
“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31
Approved & Pleasing
Last week, after returning from a retreat and launching a women’s Bible study at our church, an attack from the enemy came full-force into my heart:
“No one will be closer to Jesus because of those verses.”
“All you did was talk about things that don’t matter.”
“That was a waste of time.”
“If you didn’t see tears, the Word didn’t reach hearts.”
“You think there was any power behind that message?”
Etcetera. In the moment, those words landed as more valid and true than any other words.
I’m sure you’ve been there. You’ve given yourself to something God called you into, and afterward, the second-guessing, the doubts, and the lies land heavy. “What was I even thinking to imagine God could use me?”, we ask ourselves.
But there are words more valid and true that fight back like a sword:
1. “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15
We put forth effort within our callings so that we stand tested and approved by God, not by others, and not even by ourselves, so tainted by pride and vulnerable to deception. Feedback and self-evaluation have their place, but they don't determine whether God approves. Handling God’s word faithfully enables us to stand unashamed in its truth when the enemy aims darts of shame at us.
…So was I aiming for God’s approval by accurately handling His word?
2. “Without faith it is impossible to please God, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Hebrews 11:6
Pleasing God begins with faith, not with activity. Actions within our calling must be based on faith that God is calling! We draw nearer to God in what He’s calling us to do, because we believe that He is in it and that He rewards our step of faith.
…So was I walking by faith in what I did?
Although I did it feebly, these were the truths I had to take to heart and the questions I asked back at the lies. Whatever God has called you to today, arm yourself with words more valid and true than all other words.
Conspiracy Theories
How many of them have surfaced on the heels of this weekend?
Conspiracy theories are tempting to speculate about and hide behind when the unexpected strikes. We run to them in desperation for their secret knowledge and inside information like bunkers for our fears, shelters for our vulnerabilities, and safe-houses for our futures. It’s an attempt to make brokenness manageable and explainable.
We think that constructing some sort of explanation for what’s “really” going on, prevents our falling prey to what we dread, and we pride ourselves on making discoveries that keep us from being gullible and victimized like everyone else.
Certainly, there’s a place for detectives and investigators doing admirable work in the world to get to the bottom of crimes, but even they have limitations and fallacies. So where do we turn for refuge when even the professionals might not have the whole picture? I love God’s instruction to Isaiah thousands of years ago, because it sounds like He could have said it yesterday:
“For the LORD spoke thus to me with his strong hand upon me, and warned me not to walk in the way of this people, saying, “Do not call conspiracy all that this people calls conspiracy, and do not fear what they fear, nor be in dread. But the LORD of hosts, Him you shall honor as holy. Let Him be your fear, and let Him be your dread. And He will become a sanctuary…”
Isaiah 8:12-14a.
Here are my takeaways:
Finding conspiracy in everything is not the way for God’s people to live.
Living according to a conspiracy theory is honoring it as holy.
The LORD is the safe source for my fear and dread.
The LORD of hosts is the self-existent, covenant-keeping Commander of heaven’s armies, more powerful and true than breaking news.
Stand firm,
Cherith
So Creepy
When we lived overseas, we learned the hard way that what makes you more susceptible to being car-jacked is if you’re sitting in your parked car in broad daylight. These facts leave you vulnerable:
The setting can be clearly evaluated in the sunlight: no one else is nearby.
You have keys to the vehicle you’re sitting in: the get-away will be easy.
You obviously don’t know better: the target is naive.
We couldn’t be totally immune to this threat ever happening to us again, but we could be on guard once we knew what made us vulnerable. And the same is true in our faith.
I’m creeped out by the words of 2 Timothy 3:5-7, “…Avoid such people. For among them are those that creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.”
After describing the type of people who creep into homes with false content, Paul points out three characteristics that weakened the women’s faith, making them easy targets for creepers. They were:
Carrying sin around. A burden as heavy as unconfessed sin leaves us without strength under the weight of its accusations. But repentance releases us (1 John 1:9).
Controlled by pleasure. Shackled to every whim and desire, we’re dragged one way and then the other in search of the next comfort. But the Spirit is stronger (Galatians 5:16).
Constantly learning, but never concluding. Content consumption is just spinning mental wheels if it doesn’t lead to or align with conclusive truth. But the Word is the source of real life-change (John 17:17).
Let’s not learn the hard way.