A Backstage Pass
Reflecting on All My Knotted Up Life, by Beth Moore
After learning Portuguese to church-plant in Brazil, one of the unexpected privileges that came my way was facilitating English-speaking women’s Bible studies. Our group was a diverse convergence of women from nations such as Germany, Israel, Mexico, and the US, but we were united by the English language and by our identity as foreigners, trying to adjust and humoring ourselves with stories of how far we had to go in that process. We were all at different places in our faith: some of us were committed to Jesus, and others, just curious about Him.
Since English Bible study content was unavailable in our context, anyone from our circle who would be traveling to the US and back, volunteered to sacrifice a hefty portion of their baggage weight allowance to return with study materials. Alongside books by a favorite author, Beth Moore, came DVD’s of pre-recorded teaching sessions that transported us to a women’s conference in another hemisphere, and, even more importantly, transported us into the pages of the Bible. If you participated in her studies, you loved her like a sister, or a friend, or a mentor.
I probably considered her to be all of those in my life. You never knew if her insights would draw out laughter or tears, but what you could count on was conviction in your heart to love Jesus more, consume His Word more passionately, and respond to His Spirit more fully. Studying the Bible under her leadership anchored me to Christ during those years of feeling tossed in unfamiliar waters, far from home.
Her memoir, All My Knotted Up Life, pulls back the curtain to her world off-stage. In the self-deprecating but profound style we’d expect from her, Beth addresses the chaotic childhood she endured, the call to ministry she followed against all odds, the marriage she was committed to, the devastating misuse of power behind the scenes, and the life she’s pursued more recently. Where praise is deserved, she honors individuals by name, and where critique is given, she writes in generalities.
If your family life or your church life is turning out to be more like a tangled knot and less like a perfect bow tie, you’ll find camaraderie in Beth’s memoir.
Lines of Communication
“...take the sword of the SPIRIT, which is the Word of God,
praying at all times in the SPIRIT…”
Communication wasn’t always as easy as it is today. Words in the past didn’t travel quite as quickly as they do now, and especially if you grew up with a “Party line” phone system. I can only imagine the AT&T brainstorming session when “Party line” became the official name for the situation when multiple neighbors shared a telephone line:
“Hmm. What can we call it so we don’t have to use Shared line, Gossip line, or Wait in line?”
“Well, when would a bunch of people want to talk all at once and there’s potential to overhear something you’re not supposed to?”
“Oh! I know! At a party!”
Party sounded fun. “Party line” it was.
And so any time we wanted to make a phone call in the late 1900’s, we’d silence the room, quietly lift the handset and put it to our ear to hear whether a neighbor was already talking. If they were in the middle of conversation, we’d have to make a decision: carefully put the handset back down so we wouldn’t interrupt, then wait 10 minutes and try again, OR cover the part that could betray the sound of our breathing and listen in until they were finished. Party for kids; hassle for adults.
A party line among neighborly residents might provoke frustration, but think about jammed lines of communication in a hostile military scenario. From the General to his soldiers, between comrades on the field, and back to the General again, split second decisions about strategy and relaying conditions at a battle site are of primary importance for victory. If lines of communication are blocked or cut, soldiers will be stranded.
Communication is the final theme in Paul’s description of what God supplies for our spiritual battle. God hasn’t just armored us and wished us well; He gave us His Word through the Holy Spirit. Through the Spirit, the Word cuts like a sword in two ways: first, exposing our own hearts, and second, destroying our invisible enemy. But we block the lines of communication when we wield the Word apart from the Spirit’s intention, or when we don’t pick up the sword at all.
The Holy Spirit is the shared line among us as we exchange words, but we jam the lines of communication when we weaponize our own words like swords, soldier against soldier.
The Holy Spirit is the direct line to our Commander in Chief as we send word back to Him, but we cut the lifeline of communication when we neglect prayer.
If you’re a soldier feeling stranded, check your lines of communication. Your victory in battle today depends on it.
For more from Ephesians on the Word & the Spirit:
The Word guarantees a future through the sealing of the Spirit. 1:13, 14
God’s Word can be understood through insight given by His Spirit. 1:17,18
The Word became flesh, giving access to the Father through the presence of His Spirit. 2:11-18
God’s Word to His people is revealed by the authority of the Spirit. 3:4-6
His Word transforms us through the power of the Spirit. 3:14-20
The Word calls for love, made possible because of the unity of the Spirit. 4:1-6
God’s Word is a sword empowered by the Spirit against our spiritual enemies. 6:17
For more from Ephesians on our words in the Spirit:
Our words to each other can grieve the Spirit. 4:29-30
Our words to each other are best when under the influence of the Spirit. 5:18-21
Our words in conversation with God can be prompted by the Spirit. 6:18
Our words, as we share the gospel, can be emboldened by the Spirit. 6:19,20
Wear the Helmet
“...and take the helmet of salvation..”
Years ago, I brought one of our sons to the pediatrician for his physical, and the doctor was working through the typical evaluation. She came to the question, “Do you wear a bicycle helmet?” and my son answered honestly, “Yes...but my mom doesn’t.” Busted.
I’d say at least my heart was in the right place, prioritizing my child, and that I should get a pass for that. Doesn’t my heart justify carelessness with my head?
But without the head, nothing could be taken to heart. There would be no communicating, hearing, considering, or understanding. We’d have no control center signaling to the rest of our body. No information could be processed, passed through our nerves, or fleshed out in action without the head.
As much as I might question whether a yearly physical is the context to ask if we’re following state law for riding bikes…I would agree that the heart of the matter is the head.
It’s where salvation starts. Paul explained salvation back in Ephesians 1:13, telling the people that the first step in receiving it, was through hearing. It wasn’t just music to their ears that they could interpret as they preferred or however they felt in their heart; the message was constructed of intentional words. Words in every language have definitions, which, when properly arranged, come together to form a body of knowledge. They heard the word of truth. Truth, opposite of false, was the origin of the word they heard. The helmet of salvation keeps objective truth at the controls, weighing thoughts against the question, “Is what I’m hearing true?”
Paul further clarifies that the true message was the gospel of their salvation. It’s the gospel, defined by the good news of new life available through Jesus, which gives salvation. Salvation isn’t grounded in any other person, in a subjective experience, or in a religious high, but in this particular message. Salvation through the gospel is both knowledge of Jesus and new life in Him. Because of our salvation, whatever we rely on or define ourselves by, must be asked: “Does this center me on Jesus?”
Believing in the gospel, moves us beyond the first step of admitting it’s true, to actually banking our lives on it. Upon embracing His life personally, The promised Holy Spirit seals us in Christ, forever uniting us to Jesus until we join Him in person. His presence with us begins a trajectory of freedom from sin’s control and guarantees our promised future. The helmet of salvation discerns between the path that leads to death and the one that leads to life, by asking, “Will this take me in a Spirit-led direction?”
Whatever sits at our control center, sends signals that orient our lives. So heads up; this is no bike ride in the park.
Our minds need renewing. Romans 12:2
Our minds need guarding. Philippians 4:6-9
Our minds are focused somewhere. Colossians 3:1-3
Our minds will be governed. Romans 8:6
Our minds need the helmet. Ephesians 6:17
Faith: all the time & for all the flames
“In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one.”
Different body parts and diverse battles require specific armor. A helmet isn’t ideal to protect the chest, and shin guards can only do so much for the head. Swords can’t swat away bullets. But there’s a piece of armor designed to be a one-size-covers-all item as the first line of defense against an attack.
In the spiritual battle, it’s the full-body shield of faith. Darts descend on us only to pelt against our shield of faith. The enemy approaches from any angle only to be thwarted by our shield of faith. Fiery arrows whiz straight toward us, only to be absorbed, repelled, deflected, and extinguished by the shield of faith.
But because of the shield’s multi-purpose protection at all times and for all the flames, it’s our faith that gets burned and bears some of the deepest scars from battle. During a cease-fire, you may have realized that your faith feels worn out. In that stillness, have you turned your shield around to examine its condition?
Imagine looking at the surface area of this large shield as if it’s comprised of faith categories: at one corner might be your beliefs about God’s character; at another corner, all that you believe about God’s power; maybe the middle portion is what you believe about God’s Word; still other parts of the shield might be your faith regarding God’s people and God’s plan. Often, the arrows pierce again and again at just one section of our beliefs to weaken that specific area. On what part of your shield have the arrows clustered together?
Maybe your faith about God’s character has been splintered. Perhaps your belief about His power is falling apart; maybe your trust in His Word is coming undone. It could be that relationships with God’s people are being chipped away, little by little. God’s plan for you might feel sub-par. Left without reinforcement, even the slightest hole in our shield can lead to our take-down.
To our relief, though, God is in the shield restoration business. Materials we need for repairs are never on back-order. He’s not short on help, at a loss for all the damage done, or disgusted when we slide our shield across the counter to Him. The question is whether we’ll pick up the tools He offers us to rebuild with Him. His Word functions like a toolbox full of truth to reinforce our faith. Recognizing where our faith has been weakened and applying the reinforcement of specific truth is how the battle actually becomes the catalyst for strengthening our shield of faith instead of destroying it.
What specific truth needs to be applied to an area of your faith as reinforcement for it?
Planted in Peace
“...as shoes for your feet, the readiness given by the gospel of peace.”
I was on my way home from church and needed to pick up groceries for lunch. It was that frigid, snowy weather that swept through our region a couple weeks ago, and I was wearing my coziest sweater, jeans, and long, puffy coat with a hood trimmed in fluff. I felt quite protected from the elements, dashing from the car, through the slush, and into the store.
As I hurried down the aisle, I forgot that I had worn my high-heeled boots that were now coated in snow. All the layers that shielded me from the freezing temperatures couldn’t prevent my fall. I landed in a pose that I’d like to imagine could have been the first move of a breakdancing routine (I’d probably call it The Puffer Jacket Drop), and I’m sure whoever was watching the security camera that morning enjoyed the replay.
No matter how guarded they are, knights in shining high heels won’t be ready for the onslaught of the day. Shoes matter.
We’ve picked up two pieces of armor so far, wrapping ourselves in the belt of truth and aligning our actions with our new righteous identity in Christ. We’ll also need secure footing to stand against the elements, which brings us to this third piece of armor: shoes of readiness given by the gospel of peace.
Each morning, we confront new battles or old ones, and we wonder how we’ll ever be ready to face what pulls the rug out from under us. We’ll only be prepared to step into those unsettling scenarios if we’ve planted our feet firmly in the gospel. The gospel isn’t just elementary Sunday school truth; on the contrary, the gospel is our foundation for active, daily peace.
Peace with God is the gospel’s message:
When our lives began, we were cut off from God and alienated from His life. Our broken, lifeless existence couldn’t be made whole by anyone or anything, except Jesus, who is Himself our peace. His death, burial, and resurrection offers us a new life of living in harmony with our Creator, restored and forgiven because of peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Self-reflection:
Do I lack peace because I expect circumstances, people, my job, reputation, achievements, etc. to be my source of wholeness?
Is sin preventing God’s peace from filling my life?
Peace in chaos is the gospel’s power:
It takes a power beyond our own to have peace when our circumstances emphasize how powerless we are. Contrary to popular opinion, we are not enough, and that’s the very reason that the Father sent the promised Holy Spirit when Jesus returned to heaven. He lives in our bodies once we trust Christ, giving us access to divine power. He enlightens the eyes of our hearts to recognize hope when God is invisible. When the battle is crushing or threatening, it’s only His presence that is powerful enough to sustain us with the same immeasurable greatness of His power that raised Christ from the dead.
Self-reflection:
Do I gauge my battles according to my own strength or by the power of the Spirit in me?
How can I be so full of the gospel that when life provokes me, peace controls me?
Peace for others is the gospel’s mission:
Jesus came and preached peace to those who were far off and peace to those who were near. When we lace up our boots in preparation to follow Jesus into our next step, the banner we carry across enemy lines declares, “peace!”. We receive His peace and become ambassadors who extend peace like He did, remembering that the recipients of our message are not the opposition. Crusaders and jihadists declare “war!”, bringing brutality against flesh and blood, treading down their victims, and leaving tragedy in their tracks. This is not the gospel’s footprint, because we do not wrestle against flesh and blood.
Embracing and proclaiming peace with God disrupts the cosmic forces of evil; when we spread peace, our twisted enemy hears, “war!”, so we shouldn’t be surprised by his retaliation. But we ready ourselves, allied with the King who reigns far above all rule and authority and power and dominion.
Self-reflection:
Am I living out the gospel’s mission?
Italicized phrases from: Ephesians 1:13-21; 2:12-17; 6:12,15; Romans 5:1-5